You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
