its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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