Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
