with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
