she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
