id be glad to
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
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