i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize