his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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