Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
