I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
she woke up with a sticky ear
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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