at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
