i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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