sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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