Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
