I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
