Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
