A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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