sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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