id be glad to
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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