I hate your face
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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