i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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