we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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