The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
