Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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