I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Randomize
