I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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