Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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