I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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