How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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