I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
