forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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