whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize