the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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