; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
