Sponge bath it is.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize