My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
