butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
