nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
