My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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