You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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