Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize