I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
id be glad to
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
