I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
