I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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