Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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