I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
