I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
That accounts for only three of the penises
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
