Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
