i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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