matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
