How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
