I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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