i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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