You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
