Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
