Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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