You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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