love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
