no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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