ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
