Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize