the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
