I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
