so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
