Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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