i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
